regardsbree:

princesshodan:

grimyboy:

What would you do if u walked in on your dad deep throating a dildo?

show him how it’s really done

(via quillsandkeyboards)

thedisreputabledog:

realrobertpattinson:

hey if you teach your parrot to say ‘parrot’ it’s probably as close as you’ll get to owning a pokemon

My brother tells a story about his roommate’s parrot, that everyone who came to the house would say “you’re a bird!” to it so the bird would repeat the phrase back, no big. Until one day my brother was alone in the house with it and heard it say, very quietly, “I’m a bird.” My brother almost dropped a plate.

(via jebiwonkenobi)

chinkerbelle:

Reasons I grab my boobs

• running upstairs
• running downstairs
• running
• stoked on life
• scared
• walking through my house in the dark
• bored
• boobs

(via sourwolves)